Summertime

Drake's last day of school was last Thursday and now summer vacation begins! I always struggle this time of year with what is best for him. Last year my daughter went to daycare and he did not. He stayed with me on my day off and alternated between grandparents for the rest of the week. I really enjoyed the extra time spent with him because we don't usually have that opportunity. But this has been a different year. This past school year is when everything came to the surface. I realized yesterday on our first day off together that he really needs the structure and social interaction that he gets in school. He had quite a few meltdowns and couldn't seem to be happy with anything that we did. We were both so frustrated and exhausted that he went to bed really early and I spent the night regretting that I had fussed at him so often yesterday. This is another part of parenting a child with OCD/TS that is so hard. I am only human and can get frustrated at things I don't understand, yet I am also his Mother, the one that is supposed to nurture and protect and love. I feel very disappointed in myself after days like yesterday. I feel like a failure. The bottom line is I have to get him back into full time daycare.
The good news is that he will begin cognitive behavior therapy on July 13. I am really hopeful that this along with medication will make things easier for him. This is also bittersweet because I realize that it can be a long process and that even though Drake doesn't want to deal with his compulsions, they are all he knows and to fight that will be uncomfortable at best.