Monday, September 28, 2009
Settling In
Drake is starting to settle in to 2nd grade. He had a good week last week and is doing much better without me taking him to school. I however am not settling in so well. I still have a hard time dealing and processing all of this. I look at him every day and I see him at his best and his worst and I don't know why this had to happen to him. I feel like it's punishment for something I did. Why is my beautiful son suffering so much, why is he tormented daily by this horrible disorder. Why can't he go one day without suffering? Why do I keep going to appointments expecting something different? Why in the hell do I have to be the strong one to pull it together and put on a happy face. I AM NOT HAPPY!!! THIS SUCKS!!! I WANT IT TO BE OVER, THIS HAS TO BE A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO MEET WITH ANY MORE TEACHERS, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY MORE DOCTORS!! How am I going to get through this when things just seem to be getting worse and I don't know what to expect.
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I have so many days when I feel this way. I look at others who have typical children and I want to chuck a fountain drink on them. Do they know how easy they have it? Are they flaunting it in my face?
ReplyDeleteDrake is so lucky to have you has his mom. Even on the tough days, I know you wouldn't trade it for the world. Keep smiling...better days are ahead!
Kelly