What a weekend!

On Friday my baby boy turned 7. Birthdays are bittersweet for me because I am excited about what adventure lies in the next year, but I spend the day and weeks surrounding thinking about the day they were born. I try to relive the whole thing over and over so I don't forget a single detail. Now in a little over a month, Addison will be 4. This is also bittersweet because my youngest child will go from a toddler to a preschooler.

We had the best weekend for Drake's birthday. On Friday, his actual birthday, we went to dinner and to see "Night at the Museum" and on saturday we tackled our first Spend the night party, we went to another birthday party for our friends children on Sunday and had their youngest spend the night and Drake stayed with them and their oldest. And, today we went to the mall and spend gift cards and played. As tired as I am, I really am dreading going back to work tomorrow I would love to continue this long weekend.

I want to also mention my husband, Jamey. Friday (Drake's birthday) was our 10 year anniversary! We have known each other since we were 14 years old. We have had our ups and downs but we love each other more every day. He is a wonderful father and husband and I am so blessed. After just a short 10 years, I am really glad that we fought through the first couple of years of our marriage to make it work. I really think that some people leave their marriages before they have a chance to work. Every day I grow in love with my husband. If I had walked away when it got tough, I would have missed out on all of this!!

Birthday Time

It is only two days until Drake's 7th birthday. I can't believe it has already been 7 years since he was born. Today he was very "uptight" he didn't really have a meltdown but he had a hard time being content. I am not sure if this is the meds or what. Since Drake was almost 2 years old this time of year is strange. It's like his body can tell that something is different, that he is about to have another birthday. I know this sounds strange but from the beginning of May until the end, he begins to change. His personality almost changes before our eyes. And then by the first of June everything calms back down. I am wondering if this is just being aggravated by the meds. I guess it can explain part of the OCD, he is very sensitive to change and doesn't know how to handle it, even when he knows that it is a good change.

Progress

Drake is going into his third month on medication for his OCD/TS and although there have been some unexpected things happen we have had an overall good experience. The medication is not a miracle cure, he still has OCD, he still has tics. But it has made these things more bearable for him and us. We learned after a couple of weeks on meds that there can be a burst in symptoms just when you thing things are getting better. Research shows that children at a very young age can tell that they are different and mask symptoms early. So once the doctor told Drake that he has OCD/TS he had a sense of relief. He had a name for what was bothering him and he knew he would have medicine for it. As a result, he became more comfortable with his compulsions and his tics. A week before his next checkup his symptoms became worse. But, now almost three months later, we are in good shape. I look forward now to beginning cognitive behavior therapy. I am also ready for school to be out so he can relax a little!

The Beginning

Let me start by saying that I feel really blessed to be Drake and Addison's mom. As Mother's Day approaches, I am first of all thankful for my own Mom and the strong support and influence she has been in my life. But as a Mom myself I feel more honored to be a Mommy to my two beautiful children. With so many bad things going on all around me, I am surrounded by the unconditional love of my children and that makes life worth living. Now on to my reason for blogging. It has only been 6 weeks since my son was diagnosed with OCD/TS. Since Drake was around two years old, we noticed that he seemed to have a high level of anxiety and frustration but we also noticed that he was a very active little boy. My husband has ADD so we were very aware that he might have the same but noticed that he didn't really have all of the symptoms. When we went for his first conference in K5 his teacher said that he doesn't stay in his seat, he doesn't complete his work, but he is very bright. We told her that we would monitor the situation and do everything we could at home. At his six year old checkup his doctor saw the level of anxiety firsthand and thought that anxiety/panic disorder was more fitting. And that could explain the lack of focus. She thought it best to monitor and not to seek further help until it became a problem with day to day life. Well that happened in December 2008. Things seemed to fall apart all at once. He didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to eat because he would be sick or have bad thoughts, he was terrified of going to school. I have never felt as helpless as I did at this time, I could see the terror in his eyes and he was begging to go to the doctor for help and we couldn't do anything about it.

We finally got in for an evaluation and he opened up to the doctor and told her things that he was going through and we had no idea. A lot of the fear that drives his OCD is that something bad will happen to him or his family. The "OCD" tells him that he has to do certain things to keep us safe and he can't tell us about them because it will be too scary for us. It absolutely breaks my heart that he has carried this burden and didn't tell anyone until that day. We were shocked to say the least when the doctor told us what the diagnosis was. It has been a lot to process and a lot to research and so our journey begins.

My first blog

Wow, I never thought I would be writing my own blog. I am really excited. I am starting this blog because I am still processing the diagnosis that my son has and hoping that someone out there is going through the same process. I would love to hear from anyone and everyone who is affected with this process. My son has been diagnosed with OCD and Tourettes Syndrome. He is a very active, lovable seven year old that has been tormented by the thoughts or "movies" as he calls it that are constantly in his head. The TS is a mild case with 3 vocal tics and only 1 motor tic that presents itself under prolonged stress. There is so much to write about and I hope that this will help my family as well as others. I do also have a daughter that will be 4 in June. I need to figure out how to devote myself to helping him as much as possible and not have my daughter feel neglected. All this while working full time and having a relationship with my husband! I look forward to this blog experience!