Hoping for a Better Day!

First of all, on a good note, Drake pulled his first tooth last night!!! I picked him up from Daycare yesterday and he was so excited about having a loose tooth!! It was pretty loose and I told him that it would probably be out by the weekend. I guess this is where is OCD kicks in, he kept twisting and twisting until he pulled it himself around 8pm. This is a minor milestone, because Drake is terrified of blood or pain and he didn't even get upset!
And then there is today! I could tell when he woke up that he was a little on edge and upset that he was going to his golf lesson, which is not normal, he loves golf! After arriving and getting started, he did really enjoy himself and did a good job! I took him to daycare afterwards and about 30 minutes later they called, Drake was having a meltdown!! I must say that we are very early into the concept of talking back to OCD and he is getting the hang of it! After a few minutes he was feeling better. I know that we still have a lot of tough days ahead but I am really optimistic that we will have a little relief soon!

Breaking My Heart!!!

Okay, so why is it that everytime I think we are making progress and doing better we have major issues over and over!!! Drake is breaking my heart right now and I am so frustrated and at a loss for solutions that I am about to have a major breakdown myself!!! Lately, I can't come to my own house after a long day and relax! Drake wants to play wii, play outside, play with the neighbor, play soccer in the house, go, go, go!! It's not that this gets on my nerves but it's that when we tell him no, he freaks out and cries and throws a fit and yells and screams and tries his very best to talk us into it by constantly screaming please. I know that this sounds like a normal tantrum, but believe me when I say that it is not!! I understand that there is so much going on in his head and that he mentally and physically runs from the OCD all day, but what do Ido!!!! We have tried so much and I don't really know what to do!! I know that I am rambling, I am just so confused and having a hard day!!!

Proud of Myself!!

I said earlier that it is hard for me to let my kids go and do things with people other than my family. Well, tonight Addison went and played with a friend and Drake went to Vacation Bible School. I was supposed to pick Addison up before I took Drake and I thought we would hang out until he finished. This would have helped to pass the time and keep me occupied. Well, Addison's friend didn't get to pick her up until a little later and he mom wanted Addison to go bowling with them and hang out until Drake finished up and I could come and get her. Then, I had to walk Drake into the church that we go to and left him there!! This was horrible for me!! I had to fight every urge within me not to walk back in there and pick him up. But he had an awesome time and so did Addison. So, here I sit at ten minutes til eleven watching my babies sleep and thankful that they are back home with me. So, today I made baby steps but I can assure you that it won't be easier the next time and I will probably freak out again and again!!

A New Week

We have been back from the beach now for a little over a week and I think we are back to our normal, for this week anyways. We have now appointment and nothing to deal with right away! Addison has had a kidney infection this week (as a result of her kidney reflux, a condition that she was born with and hopefully will outgrow soon) It has only been a week since we altered Drake's meds, but so far it has been good. I have noticed that lowering the dose may be cutting down on the aggression and frustration. I think that it will take several weeks to be able to tell for sure. I am trying to now deal with my own anxiety over letting my children go do things without me or family. In the last week, I have let Drake go somewhere with a neighbor and I am letting Addison go and play with a friend from preschool. This is very hard for me to do and I hope it gets easier over time. Other than that, we are doing well. I still want to be back on vacation though!! Vacation from worry, OCD/TS, kidney reflux! I want to be on a beach with my husband and kids day after day!!

Day with Doctors

Today, Drake had an appointment with his behavior therapist and his psychiatrist, and a work in visit at the pediatrician for a fever and body aches that started yesterday. To say the least, it was both a good and bad day. The behavior therapist was first, and Drake was having some problems with the fact that he was going to go to the doctor. It was good that he was having this meltdown because the therapist saw first hand how he is dealing with his OCD. Drake is starting to get comfortable with his therapist so I am thankful for that. The next trip was to talk about his meds. I was relieved to find out that some of the behavior (restlessness, need to stay busy) was a side affect to his medication. So now we are lowering the dose and adding another med to knock the edge off of the aggravation, aggression. This was a huge relief! I told both doctors that we are barely functioning and I didn't know how we would make it through another week. In addition to his behavior, we are starting to notice that Addison gets really quiet and observes a lot of what is going on during the breakdowns. I think that the blessing in all of this is the fact that Jamey (my husband) is starting to acknowledge that Drake has OCD/TS. I learned in one of the books that I had to acknowledge the diagnosis first and then accept the diagnosis. I think I am just starting to accept and Jamey has made the big step of acknowledgement. I am sure that this is very hard to do for a father about his son. Now we are all making small steps to help Drake help himself and that is the most important thing.

Vacation!

We just got back from the beach and I must say it was a very good vacation. I had been looking forward to going on vacation for awhile, but at the same time, I was a little nervous about how well Drake would do. Overall we had a really good trip and Drake and Addison did very well. Drake only had one meltdown and unfortunately it was in front of about 1,000 people. I don't even remember the circumstances but remember him running through a crowd to get away from me because he was so angry with me. So, his daddy took him in another direction and Addison and I went shopping. We all came together for dinner and as soon as I sat down, Drake said, " Did I make you mad mommy?" I told him that he made me sad instead of mad, but that he is and always will be my son and I will love him no matter what, he grinned and all was better! We go back to both doctors next week and I am really ready to talk to them about some serious changes and what we need to do. We are doing pretty well at holding our own, but I am really concerned at how this will all affect Addison, my youngest child. She has seen more than her fair share of meltdowns and she sits and watches as he struggles. She does nothing but observe quietly. I am not sure that this is normal for a young child. I also feel that I am not giving her everything she needs and how this will affect her in the long run!
But, I am very proud to say that we made it through vacation, a total change of schedule, 10 hours in the car and long lines to do everything and I think everyone had a good time. Let me also say that this was the first time that both mine and my husbands family went along on a vacation and it went very smoothly! We really enjoyed it and I know that my kids loved having both sets of grandparents there to play.

The last part of this week has gone much better!! Drake had his first one on one golf lesson and it went well. He is still very excited about golf and he loved his lesson. We are so thankful to have this opportunity. He had a really bad episode today that made him physically sick and he wanted to hit some golf balls to help him feel better!!! We are now in the process of packing for the beach, I am so ready to have a vacation, we all need it so badly. When we come back, I am really wanting to start something new. I am really enjoying blogging about our experience with OCD. I have been doing some research and keep seeing that there is a need for support groups for families of children with OCD. There isn't one in Greenville, SC. I am really thinking and praying about what I can do to change that. I would like to have a support group not only for the families, but also for the children with OCD. I would love for my son to meet other children with OCD/TS, and realize that he is not alone and that there is someone else out there that has the same thoughts as him. Any information would be greatly appreciated! Well, I am off to pack

What a week!

It is only Wednesday and it seems like the longest week. Drake is having a better week and I am so glad! He had his first session with the behavior therapist on Monday and we have set up appointments through the end of August. I think that we are really going to benefit as a family from this therapy. Drake has a golf lesson tomorrow and he is still very excited about going to work with Mr. Allen. He was a little disappointed that his shoes haven't arrived yet, but hopefully they will be in soon. He was even practicing his swing tonight in preparation for his lesson, it was so cute! We are leaving for the beach on Monday and I am really looking forward to getting out of here for awhile. Addison had a great birthday, I can't believe that my baby is now 4! I don't know where the time has gone since we started our family seven years ago!