December!

We have had such a busy month! Addison just started dance class as an early Christmas gift from her Nanny, thank you Nanny! I am so excited for her and she absolutely loves it. I am excited that she gets to have her own thing! Drake is having a bit of a difficult time this month, he has had quite a few meltdowns, He has been off his schedule since Thanksgiving and now we are gearing up for Christmas break. This is the one thing about OCD that is heartbreaking, any kind of change is hard for Drake, even good change. We noticed this very early with him, as early as a year old! He even said this morning that he didn't want to be out of school for Christmas! I just hope that we can do a lot of fun things with the kids and Drake will be ok, it will be tough but we are preparing now!

Here

We have been doing so well, but now we are back to square one!! We did have a great Thanksgiving and I am so thankful for the wonderful day that we spent with our families. Drake is doing good in school and Addison is doing pretty good overall too! I certainly can't complain! Drake was doing so well and out of nowhere, we have major meltdowns, aggression that is hard to control and I feel like the very minute we get comfy with this OCD crap, everything goes wierd again! He is doing well in therapy, but we are still very dependent on meds, which I am guessing is going to be a neverending cycle. I have accepted that this is what we have to deal with, but now I am mad at it! I guess it's the process. I don't want to write about it, read about it or talk about it!! So, right now we are back to being just here!

Proud Mama!

Drake just got his first report card of second grade! He got Bs and Cs. He asked me if I was mad that he had Cs! I know that he is working so hard on his OCD and class and homework and i am so proud of him!! He only had 2 Cs in language arts and reading, the rest were Bs!!! I told him that as long as he tried his best that I was proud of that! He looked so relieved, I hate that he spent the whole afternoon worrying that I may be mad about his grades! But, once he realized that he had achieved something, he looked so happy and that makes me happier than anything else! He is also doing very well with his therapy and on his medication!

Good Week!

First, let me say that Drake is doing ok these days. He is holding his own in school and with his OCD. We are learning how to deal with the meltdowns and they are less frequent. I am very proud of him. He also sang his first solo in church this past Sunday, on the very stage that I sang my first solo as a child. This was his idea and he wanted to do it without help(my dad played guitar for him) I was so very proud of him that I wanted to stand up and cheer and say "that's my baby!!!!" He was excited that people clapped for him and complimented him on his singing. As is typical with OCD, he is very hard on himself and tends to have a lower self-esteem. He thrives on compliments and achievements no matter how small. This was very big and he went right up there and sang with no fear! It really meant a lot to me and to him!
Tomorrow we take Addison to the hospital for more tests for her kidney reflux. She is having more and more infections and having to take antibiotics too often. The test is not too bad, but it's uncomfortable for her and scary and I absolutely hate it!! My husband also doesn't do well, he gets mad when he is scared or can't make something go away so I have to keep him calm and stay calm for Addison and it will be exhausting! We are going to do some fun things afterwards with her so hopefully it will be out of her mind quickly!

OK

Things are going pretty good right now, yippee!!! Drake got his first progress report of 2nd grade and he has pulled everything up!! He has 2 Bs and 2 Cs, I am so proud of him and the effort that he has made!! He is doing well in therapy, although it is slow going. Addison is doing well, although she has another kidney infection. I don't think I have mentioned it before but Addison, my four year old has kidney reflux. We have been watching and treating with antibiotics as needed and now she is getting an infection each month which is not a good sign!! We are in the process of scheduling another procedure which is not at all fun. They will insert a catheter (sp?)and dye and watch the flow to see where the reflux is. I am hopeful that we will have more options this time!! All in all everything is going well!!! That is a nice change!!

A Break

I had so much fun tonight and got a much needed break from the stresses of home and OCD/TS!! My mom and I had supper outside at Adam's Bistro, then we went shopping at the mall!! I really enjoyed this time alone with my mom and not having to rush home to take care of the kids(they went out for mexican food with their daddy and papa). Thanks Mom, I needed that!!!

Settling In

Drake is starting to settle in to 2nd grade. He had a good week last week and is doing much better without me taking him to school. I however am not settling in so well. I still have a hard time dealing and processing all of this. I look at him every day and I see him at his best and his worst and I don't know why this had to happen to him. I feel like it's punishment for something I did. Why is my beautiful son suffering so much, why is he tormented daily by this horrible disorder. Why can't he go one day without suffering? Why do I keep going to appointments expecting something different? Why in the hell do I have to be the strong one to pull it together and put on a happy face. I AM NOT HAPPY!!! THIS SUCKS!!! I WANT IT TO BE OVER, THIS HAS TO BE A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO MEET WITH ANY MORE TEACHERS, I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY MORE DOCTORS!! How am I going to get through this when things just seem to be getting worse and I don't know what to expect.